I Must Not Tell Lies
by Fluffy1322
Summary: Hermione has a muggle cousin that she tells everything. Hogwarts. Magic. Voldemort. Everything. Dumbledore allows Hermione to bring her cousin after Xmas fifth year. Her cousin is sarcastic & hates rude people. In potions class she takes on Umbridge 1shot


**I Must Not Tell Lies**

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Harry Potter wise…

Summary: Hermione has an older muggle cousin that knows who she really is. They have been close for as long as she can remember but rarely see each other since Julia, her cousin, is from America. Having granted special permission to Hermione, Dumbledore allows Julia to come to Hogwarts after Christmas break. See how _that_ goes.

A/N: I don't know where this idea came from but it wasn't leaving my head last night so I knew I had to write this. I know a lot of it is AU (mostly cause there is a muggle in the castle) from book five but this is where it take place. Also I don't particularly remember if Harry tells Hermione and Ron about Umbridge and her blood quills but I'm pretending that she did.

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><p>It was right after Christmas break and everyone was starting their first day back at Hogwarts. The school was all a buzz with the news of a muggle being in the castle. The Gryffindors saw her in the common room this morning and soon the rumor was passed along the houses. No one had ever heard of such a thing before and it was the talk of everyone. No one has seen this mystery person yet, since the Golden Trio wasn't there. Everyone knew that the two most famous boys of the school loved to sleep in and that the female of the group allowed them their sleep but wouldn't come down without them. It had been that way since the end of first year. While the houses didn't speak of it to each other, they all collectively knew that it was going to be an interesting term.<p>

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><p>It was time for breakfast and of course Harry and Ron weren't up yet. Hermione was no longer exasperated on how her two favorite men slept until the last possible second. Being best friends with them for five years meant she was used to their routine and lately had come to enjoy her "responsibility" of taking care of the other part of the Golden Trio. It made her feel important and wanted. Today, though, she wasn't as patient as she usually was. She had a surprise for them and was looking forward to their faces when they saw what or like who it was. So going up to their room 15 minutes before she normally did, (she had been up for over an hour working on revising her Charms essay due next week) Hermione yelled for her companions to wake up.<p>

"Ron! Harry! Time to wake up breakfast will be over soon!"

All that got her was groans from every occupant in the dorm. Inwardly grinning, she put her annoyed face on and once more tried to wake her friends.

"Come on guys! We are going to be late for potions and Professor Snape is going to take away house points!"

Neville heard this and shot right out of bed. Hermione tried to stifle a laugh 'cause it was really sort of sad how scare he was of Professor Snape.

"I'm up! I'll be ready," exclaimed a slight dazed and frightened Neville.

"Neville she does this every bloody morning. Don't you think that you would be used to that by now and not believe her?" Ron dryly questioned.

"wha-?" came a confused reply. Hermione could longer hold her laugh though she tried to cover it with a cough. No matter how many times she did this it always made her laugh and didn't think that even thirty years down the road will be any different. Hermione will still be heading over to their house on days they needed to be up early and wake them up. The only problem she could foresee is their wives no liking the female best friend intruding on their bedrooms.

'Well I guess they will just have to marry someone who I will like,' she thought even though she knew that she would like whoever either of them married. Especially since Harry was probably going to marry Ginny Weasley.

"It's not funny Hermione. You do this to him every day and then we have to calm him down afterwards," Harry said with an annoyed tone but it was ruined by the fact that he was grinning at her sleepily. She knew that with Harry's relatives, he really loved the fact that she 'mothered' them.

"Yea, Yea; you best get up before there isn't any more food," she jokingly snipped back. As always this was the way Ron got out of bed. Give him the thought that food might not be there for breakfast and the man moved like he was being chased back Aragog's children again.

"And," she added slyly "I have a surprise for you when you're dressed." With them sufficiently curious, Hermione left them to do whatever boys do to get ready in the morning. It was one of the few things she preferred not knowing in life. With a chuckle to herself at that thought, she walked back down the steps to the common rooms.

By now there was no one in there aside from one woman sitting in front of the fireplace. Everyone else had left for breakfast since classes started in about an hour. Hermione walked up to the woman and sat down beside her.

"They will be down shortly. It takes them forever to wake up in the morning. We are always rushing to class first thing in the morning which is awful because its Potions with Professor Snape," the curly haired woman explained.

The woman during her head and Hermione was struck again how much they didn't look alike even though they were first cousins. While Hermione had her curly hair that was a, in her mind, dull brown, her cousin has straight blonde hair that fell a little above her shoulders. Their facial features were not similar at all aside from one thing. Their nose. It was ridiculous almost that a person could have a feature that looked the same at someone elses but look so much different in every other way. Looks aside her cousin and Hermione have been the best of friends ever since she was born. Hermione never worried about telling her anything. With her living in America and being a muggle, there was no fear of telling her the things that have happened to her so far at school and sharing the horrors of what has happened to her friend Harry. This year particularly with the new DADA teacher, Umbridge, and her crazy idea that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named wasn't back and Harry's many detentions this year that have him writing with the illegal blood quills and the ever annoying phrase of 'I Must Not Tell Lies'. This latest thing made Hermione's blood boil and since her cousin hating seeing/hearing anything that hurt people she too was burning in anger. The thing with her cousin is she is very outspoken and had a sarcastic wit that would make Professor Snape proud. And Hermione feared she would confront their useless DADA teacher, which would made matters extremely worse.

"I think it's funny how you 'take care' of them so to speak," her cousin said with a wry grin. Hearing her speak brought Hermione out of her thoughts and made her smile in response.

"I like "taking care" of them," Hermione replied and was about to say something else but was interrupted when the five dorm mates came out of their rooms.

"Mione we're ready. What is this surprise?" Harry asked looking much more awake then he did 5 minutes ago.

They all reached the bottom of the stairs and suddenly realized that there was someone sitting next to their friend that they didn't know.

After seeing the curious stares directed to her cousin, Hermione stood up along with her cousin to introduce her.

"Guys, this is my cousin Julia. She is from America. I asked Professor Dumbledore if she could stay her for part of the term," she said somewhat nervously. She wanted this to go well. Both partied meant a lot to her and she wanted them to get along.

"Hi everyone!" Julia said with a large smile on her face.

There was a smattering of different greetings but mostly they were all to shocked to reply. For being cousins they looked nothing alike. Except their noses were cloned copies of each other.

In true form, Harry recovered first and stuck out his left hand. He tried to avoid people seeing his writing hand to much, the scarred words embarrassed him too much.

"Hello. My name is Harry Potter and this Ron Weasley."

At hearing his name, Ron was startled out of his thoughts and blushed at not paying attention, gave a grin. Everyone else seemed to overcome their shock and relaxed.

"Well, we need to hurry to breakfast if we are to make it to Potions on time. We can talk there," Hermione explained while quickly gathering her things.

Breakfast went well and after eating at quickly as possible they rushed off to Potions. The guys were once again shocked when they found out that Julia was a muggle and heard her sarcasm. She was really nice but sometimes she didn't know when to not say something.

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><p>POV change (Julia)<p>

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><p>This castle was huge and everything seems to strange to me. Which makes sense since this was a school for teaching magic. Hermione's friends seem to be really cool and interesting. I am looking forward to the Potions class though everyone warns me that Snape is a horrible person I won't like him. But personally I think I will find him hilarious. While I don't like people being made fun of, I do appreciate sarcasm a lot. And making potions was really interesting to me. I hope this will not be a total disaster.<p>

We make the class right before the bell and Hermione and her friend sit down but since I am just here to watch I don't know where to go. So I go over to stand next to the desk and wait for the "greasy git" to get here to show me where I can sit.

I didn't have to wait long before the door slammed open and a man dressing all black came billowing in. He actually billowed.

'This is going to be awesome,' I think with an inward grin. Hermione said that Snape was a very prickly person and he didn't really tolerate a whole lot but I am sure that he will tolerate me. I have many like him in America and do just fine. They are all scowl-y on the outside but inside just want someone to be nice to them even though they are not nice to you or anyone else. Also Hermione told me that he was a spy for that Order so he has to be an okay guy.

When Snape came to the front of the classroom he gave her a long glare before completely ignoring her. It took a lot for her to get angry. Well that wasn't all that true either. I am a very protective person and when someone insults another with specific intent I tend to not handle it well. I understand teasing but there is no reason for a person to be mean to someone. Which, I guess, is why people were trying to make me believe that I will not like Snape, since he was always mean to everyone other than his Slytherins. But I know why he he is mean and I find it funny now to hear stories of what he has done to people. Well sometimes funny 'cause there are some things that he takes to far but… oh well.

I must have missed him explaining what they were to make because they were already starting their potions and Snape was sneering at me.

'Oops. Must pay attention,' I thought.

"Hello," I say with a smile. I think this isn't something he is used to 'cause he seems to be somewhat surprised. His face doesn't really change but you could tell that it caught him off guard. Which is really quite awful if you think about it. How horrible must it be that everyone dislikes you? "I am Hermione Granger's cousin and I am allowed to follow her around in classes today. I am actually allowed to stay for most of the term but I figure one day is good enough."

"Why," Snape starts with a sneer "do you feel the need to tell me this? I do not need you in here interrupting my class with your presence but since the Headmaster declared it okay I must allow it. You are to not to touch anything or speak without being asked."

Hardly upset by his snarky attitude, I reply like he was being the nicest person on earth, "I didn't know if you knew the details of me being here. And I wouldn't _dream_ of touching anything. I will just look around and sit here till the end of class. And speaking of sitting can I please have a chair?" So I added a little sarcasm into my voice, sue me.

Scowling like I asked him to wear the colors of his rival house, he took out his wand and with a complicated swish produced me with a wooden chair right beside his desk.

With a cheerful thanks I took my seat and scanned the room. The students seemed to be in a mild state of shock with how I spoke to their professor. They quickly became aware that out conversation was finished and swiftly pretended to not have been staring at all. Wasn't that just shy of being hilarious? Looking to my left I see that Snape has taken his seat and started working on looked like grading papers. Making sure I wasn't moving anything or being in his way I leaned on the corner of his desk with my elbow and observed my first experience with a potions class.

Twenty minutes into class, to which I will admit I was getting somewhat bored and a glazed look may have been on my face. Everyone was interrupted by a horribly annoying "ahem hem".

I looked up and saw this hideous toad look alike of a person. I told you I was nice right? Well that was being nice… As soon as I saw her I knew who she was. It wasn't hard to figure out after hearing Hermione rant about her and her actions against her friends and the school in general. This crazy person of a woman was in complete denial of that Dark Lord guy being back and punished all who said that he was. Hence Harry baring those scars of not telling lies.

Trying to keep a snarl off my face, I straightened in my seat and watched her walk up to the front of the classroom. She stopped right in front of Snape's desk but more accurately my chair. She was looking at me and I had no idea why.

"Hello," I greeted in my nicest voice I could manage with all the anger I had for this person.

She smiled this creepy smile and didn't greet me in return.

"I would just like to ask what you are doing in a classroom, Miss Hendkerson," Umbridge asked me sickly sweet.

I was in shock, what was I doing in a classroom? What the heck did that mean? I was told I could be here that's what!

"I was told I was allowed to be here," I answered but my fake smile was gone. I just couldn't pretend to be nice in front of this woman especially since she wasn't going to be nice to me.

"That is right, Professor Umbridge, the Headmaster has allowed this woman to be in classes," came a familiar dark voice. I grinned inside though I knew it wasn't to defend my but out of hate for her. And I imagine he didn't care for interruptions to his class 'cause I guess they had pretty specific times to do certain things.

In response Umbridge turned her head and that smile toward Snape and had the audacity to say "I am sorry Professor Snape but I do not believe I was speaking to you." My mouth dropped. What? How rude was that?

"What?" I asked before I could stop myself. I was to riled up from thinking of what this woman has been doing and she goes and says that.

She seems confused and asks "What do you mean what?"

Once again my mouth opens before I could control it "What did you say that to him for? That was really rude!"

"Miss Hendkerson I do not believe you are in a position to say such things to me," she hissed, her face reddening in her anger and indignation.

"And how come?" I was on a roll. I could kind of notice the reactions of the students but I was too engrossed with this woman.

"Miss Hendker-" Snape started to warn but was cut off by Umbridge.

"Because I am an authority figure in the school you are being hosted at and I work for the Minister of Magic" The last part was stated with smug satisfaction, as if that had an sway over me.

"How wonderful for you. That doesn't answer why I am not in a position to say such things to you," I said with a sarcastic inflection.

This seemed to anger all the more and her face turn the color of Ron Weasley's hair. It was an ugly site to behold really. It is something that will stay with me till I die.

Hissing like a cat that I hear she likes so much she bites out "I do not have to stand here and listen to this!"

"Your right you don't have to your welcome to go," I answer knowing full well that isn't what she was referring to.

To angered to speak any further, Umbridge whipped around and started to storm away. But I wasn't done, my anger wouldn't allow for her to leave and not be able to be unleashed upon her.

"Hey Umbridge!" I call out "I have a question for you."

She stopped short with how rudely I addressed her. To my side I barely note that Snape seems to finds this slightly humorous and snorts softly.

"What happens if you're wrong?" I question her. She turns slowly and I can tell that she doesn't know what I am talking about.

"What?" she snaps.

Making sure she saw my every movement, and thankful that it was winter so I was wearing a long sleeve shirt, I pulled the shirt up over my left arm slowly. I can tell that the significance is not lost on her. While I pull up my sleeve I once again ask "What if you're wrong?"

She stomps back my way, "what do you know? You're just a muggle!"

"I have heard lots of what had happened here this year," I reply.

"Well, not that I have to say anything to you but the Ministry is not wrong," Umbridge claims her voice taking a slight hysterical tone in her fury.

"Yea, but what if? You can't know 100% for sure. It's impossible unless you have someone searching everywhere at the same exact time. So I ask again What. If. You're. Wrong?"

The whole room seems to be a lot more tense now and no one seems to be breathing. Umbridge's fury doesn't diminish but she doesn't say anything. I take this as a good sign. I twist my body to Snape's desk and pick up his black quill he was using for grading.

Running the quill lightly through my fingers I say in an even calm tone, "What will you do? 'Cause Umbridge one must not tell lies."

This causes her to pale dramatically and I actually think she may pass out from rapid blood flow rushing to and from certain areas of her body. The Gryffindor side of the room draws a collective gasp as they know what that phrase means. The Syltherins and Snape are confused to the meaning but watch the scene playing out avidly.

Umbridge doesn't seem to know what to do with I said and once again turns around and all but runs out the door.

Once the door was slammed closed, everyone seems to just stare at me. I can feel Snape's bewildered stare boring into my head. After what seems like forever but may just have been a minute or two I gather myself and said in a bland tone "She seemed nice."

A beat passed and the student howled in laugher. The Gryffindors hooted their praise and the Slytherins looked impressed.

After a few minutes, Snape finally snapped, "Get back to work before everyone receives detention for the next month with Filch!" He then looks down at me and just stares.

Becoming self-conscious I ask, "what?" After my anger was gone, I realize I shouldn't have done that at all. It will probably make matters worse for everyone. And I was kind of scared Snape would kick me out.

But all he says is "One must not tell lies?" incredulously and I bust out laughing.

Okay I hope you guys find this as funny as I did. I really hate Umbridge and this just came to me last night for some reason. Please review!


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